Step 9

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32

 

In the portion of scripture above and previous verses Paul is talking about putting on the new self in Christ.  Paul describes how we once lived, before Christ entered our hearts and changed our lives.  In verse 18 Paul states, "they are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them".  Before beginning the process of recovery this perfectly describes how most of us lived our lives.  We were darkened in our true understanding, and why?  Because of our own ignorance.  We were walking blindly through life thinking we understood it all, and could handle the sin and dark circumstances our substance abuse has caused us all on our own.  Due to our darkened understanding we become alienated from the true life that God has for us, this is a life of freedom, peace, loving sacrifice, and abundance.  In our former life, controlled by our evil desires, we start a path of destruction that normally starts with far away acquaintances, and can quickly spread to those closest to us.  Because of our ignorance and blindness in our own prideful understanding, the chaos of the sinful choices we make affects those closest to us, that we said to ourselves we would never hurt.  These include our co-workers, parents, siblings, significant others, and sadly even our children.  By the time we get to step nine in our recovery process we have begun to see the healing power of Jesus Christ through these spiritual steps of redemption.  We have done a lot of work on the inside, allowing God to bring to the surface our past hurts and those we have hurt.  We have sat down with a trusted sponsor or mentor and talked about the exact nature of our wrongs and had them pray for us.  We have become willing to allow the Lord to remove our character defects, and humbly began the process of becoming more Christ-like.  And now we come to a major step of asking for forgiveness from those we have hurt and making amends to them if possible.  It is important to note, that we only do this "if possible".  Some people we have a desire to make amends with are not ready to hear from us.  It is vitally imperative to do this step with the help of sponsor, discerning who to make amends to, and the timing of the amends.  Nonetheless, the scripture above describes the posture of our heart as we go into this practice of amends.  We are motivated to make things right with those we have harmed because "God in Christ forgave us".  Because the saving salvation of Jesus has pierced our hearts and began to transform how we live and think, we are motivated to ask for forgiveness, when possible, to try our best to make right what we have made deeply wrong, simply because we know the freeing power of God's forgiveness.  At this point in our steps, we should be able to wisely, and humbly ask for forgiveness from those people we have hurt, knowing and trusting, that we have done our part, and God is the One who will work on their hearts.  Today, pray and ask the Lord to give you a heart motivated by forgiveness.  Realize how much mercy and grace God has given you in Christ that has transformed your heart, and humbly ask the Lord for the strength and direction on who, how, and when to make it right with those we have wronged in our lives.  Trust that God will take care of all these situations if we lovingly and humbly ask for His direction and guidance.  Love you all!  Praying for you and yours!  Have a blessed day, it's your choice!